


Blown up secrets

by JassyBellaArt



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Finds Out About Merlin’s Magic (Merlin), Arthur is not too stubborn for once, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Merlin forgets about Arthurs socks, Merlin is a Little Shit, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), No big drama bcs I need fluff ok, Protective Arthur, fluff and them just being stupid and in love, gwaine has magic potential
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:28:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22774156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JassyBellaArt/pseuds/JassyBellaArt
Summary: A unknown sorcerer creates an artifact that makes anyone with magic potential to constantly have golden eyes. It also brings up their magic potential making it mostly uncontrollable.______________________I got that prompt fromcapucineimaginaireon tumblr and wrote it for her in exchange for a drawing☺️.My take on it:Merlin forgets about Arthurs socks and nearly blows up the whole castle. Arthur still thinks Merlin couldn't harm a fly.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 442





	1. Blown up...

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first upload on here. Hope you like it. I don't have a beta and english is not my native language. So if you find a mistake message me and I will fix it ^^. 
> 
> I might continue this if I have an idea. Feedback is always appreciated!
> 
> ~JassyBella

When Merlin woke up, he had one of his bad feelings again. Something wasn’t quite right, he felt it in his stomach, and that led him to the conclusion that it wouldn’t be another day of fooling around with Arthur and trying to hide from his duties. Duties like cleaning out the stables or washing Arthurs- 

Dammit, Arthur's socks! With that thought, Merlin jumped out of his bed. How did he possibly forget to wash Arthur's socks after Arthur scolded him for at least half an hour for having to get into his shoes with bare feet?? He already saw himself in the stocks again while getting dressed and rushing out of his room. 

When he arrived at Arthurs bedroom, the young king was still asleep as normal, and Merlin considered not waking him up yet and instead just gathering his socks, but then he remembered that they would need to dry. He sighed and collected the dirty laundry that Arthur had laying around everywhere in his room. He collected a few pairs of socks and decided to cast a spell on them so they would at least seem fresh for the day. But when he tried to use his magic, the weird feeling came back and his magic felt like it slipped out of his hands, shattering a pot he had brought for Arthurs breakfast that stood right next to the bed. The noise was deafening and of course Arthur instantly woke up just to jump out of bed trying to dodge the fragments that Merlin had sent flying through the air. “What in God’s name did you do, idiot?”, Arthur yelled, but Merlin had the exact same question in his mind, and he couldn’t manage to lift his head to look Arthur in his face.

What in God’s name did I do? He then realized that his magic apparently didn’t only shatter the pot, but also every other dish in the room. However, it also cleaned every single piece of clothing in Arthurs room, and that was probably Merlin’s only option to explain all this. “I tripped over the clothing you spread on the floor and dropped the clean laundry, then fell against the bedside table and your dishes fell on the floor.”, he said with his brightest smile, his eyes finally meeting Arthurs.

He knew this was an awful explanation for the chaos. Arthur didn’t seem to notice though. “Why the hell do I keep you? You’re really good for nothing.” He just shook his head and scanned the room with his eyes, then thoroughly skimmed Merlin. “Wait, what’s with your eyes?” Arthur asked suddenly, and now Merlin was completely confused.

“What’s with my eyes?”, he asked back, and Arthur snorted and opened his wardrobe to let Merlin look into the mirror. 

Merlin’s stared at the mirror in shock. His eyes shone bright golden, his original eye color not even visible anymore. The golden glim he was used to when practicing magic was nothing compared to this. “I-I don’t know, maybe I’m sick.”, he stammered.

Arthur looked at him and frowned. “You should go to Gaius. Are you dizzy? Maybe that’s why you managed to destroy every dish in the room. I mean, you’re a dead loss by yourself but probably even more when you actually have a reason for it.”

Merlin didn’t even manage to smile and stumbled out of the room as fast as he could because he already felt his magic rebelling against his mind. 

When Merlin arrived in Gaius’ rooms, the older man grabbed him by his shoulders with a relieved sigh.

“Thank god, Merlin, you’re back safe. Did Arthur notice?” When Merlin looked at Gaius eyes, he realized that the older man had golden eyes as well, by far not as bright as Merlin’s own, rather muddy, but golden.

“No, I guess he thinks I’m sick. Gaius, what’s happening!? I can’t control my magic and--“

As if to prove what he was saying, Merlin had another magic outburst, sinking down on his knees and covering his head, while the glasses in Gaius’ shelves smashed to smithereens. 

When Merlin woke up from unconsciousness, Gaius had already tidied up his room and apparently studied the big tomes about mythical creatures and magic illnesses he had. He looked over when Merlin stood up, and frowned, his face full of worry.

"I fear it's a spell that makes every wizard's magic uncontrollable.", he said, and one of the books suddenly inflamed. Gaius quickly took a basket of water with a nearly routined motion and put it out in one move. "That's my magic. I'm suffering from the same-"

Suddenly, Gaius was interrupted by Sir Gwaine who stormed into his rooms, leading to Gaius quickly closing the book with a slam and discreetly shoving it away. "Gaius, something is going on with me, I don't know what… I think I’m haunted by an evil -"

A pot exploded next to Gwaine and he jumped aside with a shriek, Gaius looked over to Merlin, who simply shook his head. This had not been his magic. "Okay, Sir, come with me. We don't need any more sherds." He grabbed Gwaine by the arm and leaded him to Merlin's room which, something that Merlin hadn't even noticed until now, was nearly completely empty.

"How long did I sleep, Gaius?" He asked, while Gaius inspected Gwaine's pupils. "About… Two days.", Gaius said absently.

While Merlin nearly got a heart attack, Gaius just went on talking. "Congratulations, Sir Gwaine. You have magic potential! And not only that, but you have a rather great magic potential. You should stay in here while I go to Arthur to tell him what the problem is." Sir Gwaine obviously had no idea what was going on, and looked like a confused sheep, while Merlin finally gained back his voice and held Gaius back.

"Wait, Gaius, what if he decides to go hunt all people with magic potential?" Gaius looked down and shook his head.

"No, that's something Uther would have done. But Arthur is not his father. He will understand people with magic potential don't necessarily practice magic." Merlin wasn't completely convinced, but the trembling room caused by his next magic outburst left him no choice but the trust Gaius' and Arthur's assessment of the situation.

"Can someone finally explain to me what's going on?", Gwaine asked and Merlin nodded.

"We think a sorcerer put a spell on Camelot that makes whoever has magic potential can't control his magic anymore and permanently has golden eyes."

Gwaine slowly nodded, then shook his head. "B-but I don't have magic!"

Merlin frowned. "You do, but since you never studied it, you didn't know." -

A short pause, then Gwaine let out a confused breath and asked "And you?!!", looking at Merlin, who smiled sadly.

"I could even practice magic before I could speak. It's kind of… visceral."

Gwaine nodded slowly. "And you didn't tell anyone… Not even us as your friends?" He even sounded a bit hurt.

Merlin sighed. "I - I couldn't. Every person knowing about my magic was one too many. Lancelot found out when we met, but except him and Gaius no one in Camelot knows. I use my magic to protect Arthur, you know? And everyone knowing about it could be a danger for Arthur."

This time, Gwaine seemed to understand. It was the next moment when Merlin realized that his secret now wasn't a secret anymore. Whoever had cast the spell on Camelot had succeeded. Arthur had seen his golden eyes and when Gaius told him about the spell, even Arthur would combine 1 and 1 and would know Merlin was a sorcerer. He couldn't end the thought though, because Arthur stormed into the room, seemingly worried, and scanned the room. When he spotted Merlin, his eyes, he instantly came closer and Merlin thoughts raced. What could he say? How would Arthur react? He already had an apology on his lips, but Arthur surprised him with a completely different theory as Merlin would have expected. 

"Guess you're as surprised as I am. Wouldn't have thought my good-for-nothing manservant had any potential, the least magic potential…" He met Merlin's eyes again and smiled.

"Why do you watch me like I was your hangman? You didn't know, you didn't do wrong."

He then turned to Gwaine and asked him if he as well didn't know, and Merlin suddenly felt anger instead of relief rise in his chest. Arthur never even thought of the possibility that Merlin could actually be someone, he always smiled at him like Merlin couldn't even harm a fly. His magic bubbled inside him, and he tried to warn Arthur and Gwaine who were talking like nothing happened and nothing was wrong. 

But they didn't listen.

Merlin just got angrier, and Gaius tried to calm him, but it didn't help.

"Just listen to me! I'm able to bring this whole room down in a few seconds so please! JUST get out of here!", Merlin started yelling at Arthur and Gwaine to just get their attention, his magic already boiling up and bursting in the air with a obnoxiously loud bang, bringing down clumps of stone from the ceiling in his room.

Gwaine reacted in a heartbeat, grabbing Gaius by the arm and dragging him out of the room, while Merlin saw the huge rock that fell toward the exact spot where he was standing. 

Everything happened so fast that he didn't even react.

He already saw himself getting smashed, but in the next moment, he lied on the ground, Arthur all over him, and the rock right next to both of them. He opened his mouth to say something, but Arthur just grabbed him and pulled him up, then dragging him out of the room that was slowly breaking apart.

Outside, Arthur finally raised his voice. "Merlin… Was that you?" he asked, panting, with an unbelieving stare.

Merlin shrugged. "I didn't want to-"

"I know, but did you do that, idiot?!", Arthur cut him off and Marlin finally nodded.

"Yeah I… It was my magic."

Arthur stared at him for a while, then another while, and then slowly said: "You're not new to magic, are you?"

Merlins gaze twitched between Arthur and the others, who were all looking at him with some kind of expectation in their eyes. Merlin finally gathered the courage to meet Arthur's gaze again and slowly shook his head.

"No…", he whispered, "I am just trying to protect you from all these people. Without magic, that would've been impossible", he quickly added.

Arthur said nothing and looked at Gaius, then at Gwaine. "Did you know?", he asked quietly after a while.

Gwaine shook his head. "Not until a few hours before, Sire."

Gaius nodded. "I did. I helped him protect you, Sire. There are a lot of bad people, bad sorcerers out there, the worst of them Morgana, and without Merlin no one here would live anymore." Arthur's gaze pierced Merlin, but the young sorcerer kept their eyes locked.

"You lied to me.", Arthur said, finally.

"I did, but what would you have done?" -

"I would not have sentenced you to death, if you think that. I thought you're a good person.", Arthur said, anger and something else in his eyes, that Merlin couldn't quite identify. Maybe it was disappointment?

"You thought?", Merlin echoed, his heart aching under Arthur's cold gaze.

"I thought you were the only honest person in this world. Now I know you're not." Arthur shook his head and turned his back, and Merlin thought for a moment there were tears in his eyes.

He then realized the tears in his own, blinking to hold them back from rolling down his face.

"I had to protect you. And I couldn't have done it if you pushed me away."

Suddenly, Arthur spun around in less than a second. "You didn't even know I would have pushed you away, you just ASSUMED I would. I thought we were best friends, Merlin, I really thought so. And you LIED to me for years, simply assuming I would punish you if you told me?!" His eyes were full of disappointment now, and full of anger.

But Merlin now got angry too. "And you? You didn't realize anything. Do you know how often I practiced magic right in front of you? But you, you didn't even consider I could be more than a stupid, good-for-nothing manservant who couldn't harm a fly!", Merlin yelled back, and while his magic boiled over once more and the floor started trembling.

Now Arthur's voice got silent, and his anger seemingly vanished. What remained was that heartbreaking disappointed gaze. "Yes. Because I thought you were the only pure person in this world, the only one I could be sure would never betray me . Well I was wrong." With these words, Arthur turned his back again and went away, Merlin couldn't hold his tears back anymore and Gaius and Gwaine followed Arthur to try calm him down. 

Merlin's knees buckled and he sagged down onto the floor, the energy of his magic flowing around him, heating the air and making the walls tremble. 

When Gaius came back, Merlin had fainted from magic exhaustion, and lied in the middle of the chaos that had been his rooms. He gently put his protégé in his bed, pulled the blanket over Merlins trembling body and started tidying the room.

After a few hours, he suddenly heard a gentle knock on the broken door, before the young king entered the room.

"Can I help?", he asked plainly, and Gaius looked at him with a confused gaze.

"Sire-"

Arthur shook his head and cut him off with a movement of his hand. "Can I help you?", he asked again, and Gaius nodded slowly and gave him a broom.

"The fragments on the floor, Sire."

He watched Arthur starting to clean the floor, and after a while, Arthur finally started to speak. "I might have been a little harsh. I am still mad that Merlin didn't tell me the truth, but I understand why he didn't.", he said silently, looking at the floor.

"I told him not to tell you.", Gaius added. "We didn't want to put you into a position where you needed to bend the law to your will.", he said. "Merlin also wanted you to allow magic in Camelot because you see the good in it, and not because of him."

Arthur seemed to think about that, and slowly nodded. "Anyway… I need to stop whatever is going on here. These explosions…", his gaze suddenly found Merlin in his bed, still trembling. "... Is he alright?!", he asked, obviously worried.

"He's exhausted. He blew all his magic in the air after you left, Sire. His breakdown costed him all his energy."

Arthur leaned the broom against the table and crossed the room to sit next to Merlin. He obviously hadn't come for the cleaning, and Gaius smiled to himself at the fact that he had already guessed so. Arthur looked down to Merlin and gently drove his fingers through his sweaty hair.

"How do I stop it?", he asked, absently, focusing Merlin, but yet full of worry.

"We need to find a spell against it.", Gaius said, and Arthur looked up abruptly.

"How are we supposed to -"

Gaius held up the Book of Magic he and Merlin had been hiding from Arthur ever since he had it.

"With this.", he said, and Arthur's head dropped in disbelief.

"Is there still more you were hiding from me or is that the last thing?", he said, and stood up.

"You wouldn't want to know, Sire.", Gaius said, and opened the book.

"Oh yes I do. Merlin is going to get extra hours where he will just sit in my rooms and tell me every single detail that he'd been hiding from me since day one."

Gaius smiled again. "I'm sure he'll be glad." 

A few hours later Arthur already slept on the book he'd been looking through, and Gaius had finally found the spell that was probably the right one.

"Sire!", he said, and when Arthur didn't react, he tried again, louder. "Sire, wake up!" Arthur woke up with a jolt, and focused Gaius with tired eyes.

"What time-", he started, but Gaius cut him off.

"I have the spell. You have to take Merlin out of Camelot. He's the only one who can cast such a difficult one. But he can't if he's under the influence of the one we try to invalidate."

Arthur looked at Gaius as if he was talking Japanese. "Why would taking him out of Camelot help?"

Gaius frowned. "The spell is connected to an artefact, and it has a big radius, but a few miles out of Camelot it should stop to influence him."

Arthur seemed to understand. "Okay, when do we start?"

Gaius looked at Merlin with a side view, then at Arthur again. "Merlin is extremely dangerous under this spell. You probably better go as soon as possible, Sire. Maybe even before Merlin wakes up again, because if he does, there's gonna be more and more damage."

Arthur nodded. "We go right now."

He stood up and informed the guards about him needing a horse, Sir Lancelot and Sir Gwaine. The guards nodded and stumbled away to meet their kings wishes as soon as possible. Gaius packed the spell he had copied from the book and some medicine to get Merlin gain some strength while Arthur even got himself dressed without Merlins help for once. 

Not an hour later, it was the middle of the night, the small group left Camelot, Merlin laying in front of Arthur on his horse, and the two knights riding their own horses right behind Arthur. Arthur had taken Gwaine to find out at which distance the spell stopped influencing them, and by dawn they finally reached that spot. Gwaine's eyes turned back to their normal brown color, and Arthur sighed in relief. He get off his horse and gently put Merlin down as well, laid him down to the earth and gave him Gaius medicine, while Lancelot made a fire and Gwaine stared into the dark in order to keep them safe. At least he pretended to do so. He was probably sleeping with open eyes. 

After another half an hour, Merlin opened his eyes and looked directly into Arthur's sleeping face right beneath him. He smiled, and when he saw the two knights were sleeping as well, he slowly closed his eyes again. He didn't know how he'd get there, but he was sure Arthur would tell him as soon as they've had a bit of rest. 

When the sun started shining directly into the men's eyes, all of them slowly woke up again. Arthur gave Merlin the spell with a short: "Here's the spell you need to cast. You're out of the range of the one that makes your magic uncontrollable."

Merlin nodded and swallowed, then looked at the spell. It seemed to be a powerful one, so he stood up and started reciting it. It didn't work instantly, like nearly every time he learned a new spell, but Arthur watched him with an amazed gaze that distracted Merlin so much that he needed a lot more time.

"Don't look at me like that. I can't focus."

Arthur laughed. "You sure you're even able to do that, good-for-nothing manservant?"

That was the moment Merlin knew he hadn't lost Arthur's friendship. He chuckled and jostled against Arthur, then replied: "Okay, just keep watching, royal prat. I'll show you."

And when he recited the words this time, his eyes finally went golden, the magic left his body and erupted into the air with a boost of power, and when Merlins knees went soft and gave away, Arthur's arms instantly caught him and guided him to big rock he could sit on.

"Is it… over now?", Arthur asked, and Merlin nodded.

"I think so, yes. The artifact was strong, whoever used it had a lot of work making it and won't cast the same spell again very soon."

Arthur looked to the floor and took a deep breath. "That was rather stunning for a useless toad of a servant."

Merlin grinned. "And while we ride back you can start telling me all the secrets you were hiding from me while you walk."

Merlin looked up. "While I walk??"

Arthur laughed.

"What did you think? I didn't bring a horse for you." 


	2. ...Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes I needed to continue. They were just too cute ok.
> 
> Yes it got a little overboard but I'm posting it anyway. Have fun, i hope i can make you smile a little.

* * *

When they arrived back in Camelot, Merlin was more than tired. He blinked while walking behind Arthur and tried not to fall asleep right away.

“Merlin, is everything alright?”, Arthur asked when they finally arrived at his chambers and Merlin leaned against the table, fighting with his eyelids which seemed to weigh one hundred pounds.

“m tired.”, he muffled, not able to articulate properly, which he should probably do when speaking to the king.

Arthur grinned, but his gaze was soft. “Why don’t you … um… enchant yourself to have more energy?”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “Magic doesn’t work like that.”

“Oh no? Why not?”, Arthur responded and raised his eyebrow.

“Please, can we talk about that later, I’m close to just falling asleep right here.”

Arthur grinned again, then he looked to his own bed and back to Merlin. “Well I guess my bed is a better place than the table? If you promise me you’ll tell me everything from now on, you can rest in my bed and then answer my questions later, and no one will ask for you since you’re in my room officially doing your duties as a manservant… Oh and of course you’ll clean the sheets afterwards, so it doesn’t smell like Merlin when I go to bed later this day.”

Merlin didn’t answer. He was more than surprised, even shocked. As good as their friendship was, Arthur had never let him “cross the borders” like that. Merlin opened his mouth, but closed it again, and Arthur raised his eyebrows. “Fine, if you don’t want to sleep, you can also just wash my sheets now and then start working on everything else already. Maybe I’ll take you to sparring with me.”

Merlin jumped up and quickly shook his head. “No – no I – I want to sleep, thank you, Arthur.”

Arthur shrugged. “Get to bed already and get up in a few hours when the sun starts going down. Or I’ll kick you out.”

Merlin nodded and couldn’t help but smile a little while Arthur stepped out the door. Merlin got rid of his shoes and sat down onto the insanely soft bed. He couldn’t believe he was actually allowed to sleep in Arthurs bed. He shook his head and nearly laughed at himself. It was just a bed after all. He laid down, and the last thing he noticed before sleep dragged him into soft darkness was … that the sheets smelled like Arthur. And that he kind of liked that.

When Arthur came back into his chambers, Merlin had already fallen asleep in his bed. Arthur couldn’t help but smile at his manservant who was tangled in the sheets and breathed silently. So silent, he first thought Merlin had maybe stopped breathing completely, and a wave of worry swept over the young King before he stepped closer and heard that everything was okay. Merlin seemed to not be dreaming in any way either, so Arthur let him rest and started working on a few documents which Agravaine had given him to look through. He was checking on Arthur all the time and Arthur wasn’t sure who of them was the real king sometimes. He had Merlin sleep in his bed because Agravaine had already told him multiple times to drop his manservant, and Arthur didn’t want to give Agravaine another reason to press on it. In addition, Arthur had already seen how Gaius always shooed Merlin from door to door when he wasn’t with himself, and he really needed Merlin to get some rest.

After a few hours, the sun was going down already, it suddenly knocked on the door. Arthurs first instinct was to scold the person for possibly interrupting Merlin’s sleep, the second one was “Oh, no.”

Whoever it was should probably not know Merlin was sleeping in Arthurs bed at the moment instead of working. Arthur stood up and went to the door, then opened it just a little bit. It was Gaius, and Arthur was relieved. Even if Gaius found out, he would know why Merlin was exhausted and would probably understand Arthurs decision.

“Good evening, Sire. I wonder where Merlin is. I haven’t seen him since you left early at night yesterday.”

Arthur smiled, and nodded. “He is fine, he’s been doing his duties as my servant, in my room.”

Gaius raised an eyebrow. “Oh, then he’s here at the moment? May I talk to him for a moment, Sire? Oh, and he must be very exhausted, Sire, please make sure he gets his sleep today in order to keep him healthy.”

Arthur shook his head, then nodded, and then he knew he was lost. “Um, he actually sleeps at the moment.”, Arthur admitted and Gaius raised his eyebrows even further. “Did he faint?”

The old medic simply went past Arthur into his bedroom and looked at Merlin. “He didn’t faint, Gaius. I told him to sleep here because I want him to be able to answer a few of my questions this night. I won’t have much time tomorrow as there’s multiple political meetings that are already planned for me, and I didn’t want Merlin to get into trouble for sleeping at his place. Agravaine might find out he’s not with me, and he doesn’t like Merlin anyways.”

Gaius seemed surprised, but nodded. “Well, in that case, I’ll get to him tomorrow. Good night, Sire.”

He left Arthurs chambers with a weird grin that made Arthur uncomfortable, but he said nothing. Arthur then sat down on the side of his bed, watching Merlin sleep for a bit, and then laid down beneath him, making sure it wasn’t too close. Arthur suddenly noticed how tired he was himself. He forced himself to not close his eyes, he had to wake up Merlin. The nights would be the only time they would have in privacy so Merlin could explain what it meant to have magic. And Arthur wanted to know, he wanted to understand, he needed to. He was raised with the information magic was evil, but Merlin had told him about many times he had saved him, and it all made sense. Now Arthur was confused, confused if he could still trust his father, because he couldn’t help but trust Merlin. He didn’t know why exactly he trusted him so deeply, but he did, even though Merlin had lied to him all that time. Arthur fought with the sticky claws of sleep again, but this time, he lost, and he fell asleep next to Merlin. We have tomorrow night as well, he thought, finally allowing his eyelids to close.

When Merlin woke up early in the morning, he nearly jumped out of the bed when realizing it was already morning. So, Arthur didn’t kick him out nor wake him up after all. His eyes went to the King sleeping next to him, and he wondered for a moment if he could just stay in this bed for a little longer. However, this thought was instantly knocked over by another glance out of the window, where the sun was already shining brightly. Merlin stood up and put on his shoes, then opened the window and woke up Arthur with a wide smile, like always. And Arthur didn’t like it. Like always.

“Merlin, I swear if you wake me up like that one more time you’ll not be able to smile for a month.”

Merlin laughed. “How do you want to manage that? You know I’m basically the sunshine in a person.”

Arthur grinned and mentally agreed, but then said dryly: “I don’t remember you laughing and being so sassy after sparring for three days with me and the knights.”

Merlin tried to look serious. “I shall never again wake you up with a smile and a positive line when the sun shines into your chambers, Sire.”

He thought he’d done a good job sounding seriously concerned, but Arthur rolled his eyes and finally got up. “Get to work, idiot.”

But before Merlin could start taking the sheets off the bed, Arthur turned around once more and asked quietly: “Could you use magic to do your work?”

Merlin chuckled. “What do you think am I doing when you give me loads of work that I can’t possibly manage in one day?”

Arthurs eyes widened. “Show me.”, he said plainly.

Merlin looked to the bed, then to the door, and then to Arthur again. “Are you sure?”

Arthur rolled his eyes and nodded. “Come on, chickenshit.”

Merlin shrugged and recited the cleaning spell towards the bed. His eyes turned golden and in the next moment, the bed was clean. “Here you go, royal prat.”, he chuckled, while Arthur looked at him, to the bed, and back to him.

“That’s it? You say two words, your eyes glow up, and its done?”

“Basically. Not for every spell, of course. But this is one of the easier ones.”

Arthur sat down at the bed, still not seeming to believe what he just saw. “I thought you’d have to do more, or you would faint again, or something.”

Merlin laughed. “Its just a cleaning spell. It’s like when you do one hit with the sword. You wouldn’t be exhausted from that, would you?”

Arthur shook his head. “Show me something else.”, Arthur commanded, and Merlin wondered for the first time if he really had an easier life now.

“What would you like to see, Sire?”, he asked, and Arthur shrugged. “Can you do some self-defense? Like, fighting? Probably not, right?”

Merlin raised his eyebrows. “Who would I do that to? That might hurt, Sire.”

Arthur laughed. “Try me. Do you seriously believe you can hurt me?”

Merlin shook his head. “Arthur, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I really don’t –“

But Arthur cut him off by grabbing his arm. “Come on, try to imagine you’re in a fight and I want to kill you.”

“Arthur, I’m being serious, let me go, I might hurt you and I swore I’d never hurt you, especially not with magic.”

Arthur looked at him with an eyebrow raised, but didn’t let him go. “I’m asking you to hurt me.”

Arthurs glance was intense, and Merlin swallowed, but shook his head. “No, I won’t do that, Sire.”

Arthur groaned and rolled his eyes. “Why are you so stubborn, stop calling me Sire and just show me. I’m slowly thinking you can’t do anything to me in the first place and you just want to talk yourself out of it.” Then Arthur nudged him back and pinned him against the wall, both of his hands firmly around Merlin’s wrists. “Now come on Merlin, I don’t have time all day.”

Merlin’s mind went blank, Arthur was too close too close too close-

Merlin’s heart started pounding. Arthur was TOO CLOSE and Merlin liked it – ‘Wait, did I really just think that?’ – hated it. So, the only thing he could think of was getting Arthur off him, so the King wouldn’t notice Merlin’s treacherous heart. So, he let his eyes glow up another time and pushed Arthur back forcefully with an invisible blast. Arthurs bumped into his wardrobe right at the other side of the room, quite a few feet from where Merlin stood, and sank to the floor.

“Wow.”, he breathed, and got up slowly. “That hurt.”

Merlin let out a shaky breath. “I - I’m sorry, Sire, I didn’t want to- I promise I won’t ever - “, he started, but Arthur cut him off again.

“Merlin, stop that. I wanted you to show me.” The King smiled and rubbed his ass. “I didn’t expect you’d have such a strength. You’re not going to faint now?”

Merlin shook his head, but he wasn’t so sure actually. He felt dizzy, but not because of exhaustion, but because of the mere fear of Arthur being seriously hurt. Being hurt because of magic, and because of him. He had seen Arthur nearly die for so many times now, and he couldn’t stand the idea of himself hurting him. He had done it once, at least he had tried to, the second time they had met, but that was a completely different time, it felt like ages. Merlin wasn’t so sure yet Arthur wouldn’t tell Agravaine, who would definitely tell Arthur to sentence him to death. Plus, he really didn’t want to destroy the chances of a Camelot under Arthurs commands where magic was allowed.

“You look pale, you sure?”, Arthur pressed on the topic, and came closer again.

“I don’t feel good hurting you.”, Merlin managed to say. “Like I said, I swore I’d never hurt you with magic. I just use it for you, never against you.”

Arthur looked down to him and gently took Merlin’s arm again, this time to support him. “That’s really that important to you? I don’t get hurt that easily, you know that, right? I can take a lot more than bumping into a wardrobe.”

Merlin nodded lightly. “I know, but- “

Arthur didn’t hear him out, but guided him to the bed while talking. “I’m sorry to have pressed on it that much, Merlin. I just need to know what you’re able to do, because this changes a whole lot for me, you know that, right? I know what my knights are able to do when we get attacked, and I always thought the only way you could help was with your two or three braincells up there.”, he tapped on Merlin’s forehead, “But you having magic is something completely different. And…”

He took a deep breath. “I needed to know if you would take the chance to really hurt me. Because I’ve never learned something else than magic being the pure evil. Except from you.”

Merlin sighed, then nodded slowly and took a shaky breath. “So, what is your conclusion about my magic?”, Merlin asked silently.

“Exactly what I expected. You couldn’t do anything to me, chickenshit.” The young magic user released his breath he was holding.

“It’s not about me being anxious-“

Arthur cut him off. “Oh yes, it is. But mostly it’s about you being exceedingly loyal to the ones that mean something to you. Thank you, by the way. I know loyalty is nothing that can be demanded.”

Merlin decided to not pick that up any further, because Arthur had just perfectly brought it to the point. “Does your back hurt or something?”

Arthur shrugged it off, but Merlin saw that it hurt. “Look at me.”, he said and while Arthur looked into his eyes, he whispered another quick spell on Arthur to take the pain away.

Arthurs eyes widened. “Your eyes look so beautiful when using magic-“, he said, and Merlin raised an eyebrow. Arthur blushed and shook his head. “Wait, how do I know you didn’t enchant me or anything?”

Merlin smiled. “Why would I enchant you? To fall in love with me? I think you would notice that. Plus, does love heal your pain?”

Arthurs eyes widened. “But you could do that?”

Merlin shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t try to find out if there’s a spell and how it works. I didn’t have any use for a love spell yet.”

Arthur wanted to say something, but he was interrupted by a very harsh knock on his door. “Oh, for god’s sake, I forgot my political appointment again.”, Arthur cursed and jumped up.

Merlin jumped up as well, because he didn’t exactly want anyone to see he was sitting on Arthurs bed instead of working. He rushed to the wardrobe that Arthur bumped into and collected the clothes from the floor that had fallen out of it while the guard lead the King to the crown hall.

Later that day, Merlin finally found time to speak with Gaius about how their mission went. However, it seemed Gaius was more interested in Merlin’s night at the King’s room.

“Gaius, what do you want to hear? We slept, and in the morning, I got up and woke up Arthur, because that’s my job, right?”

Gaius nodded and grinned. Then he turned more serious. “Did Arthur ask you to practice magic in front of him?”

Merlin nodded, and Gaius sighed. “Please tell me you didn’t.”

Merlin shrugged. “He commanded me to. It’s not like I am allowed to disobey.”

Gaius snorted. “You’re the most disobedient manservant I ever knew, and you tell me you can’t tell Arthur no to practicing magic?”

“It wasn’t much. Just a cleaning spell and –“ he paused.

“And?”, Gaius snared.

“A bit of self-defense.” 

“Against who?” 

“Arthur.” 

“MERLIN!” 

“I know, I told him no multiple times, but he didn’t get off me.” 

“Get off you?”

“He pinned me against the wall and told me I had to use my magic to get him off me. He was too close, I couldn’t think straight.”

Gaius raised an eyebrow. “You’re not actually falling for the king, are you?”

Merlin was about to say something, but then stumbled over Gaius words. ‘Falling for…’ wait, that meant- “I’m not in love with Arthur!”, Merlin protested and it came out louder than he initially intended.

Gaius didn’t seem convinced. “Then don’t act like you are and use your brains before using magic against Arthur!”

Merlin sighed and nodded. “I’m sorry.”

In the evening - Merlin had been cleaning Arthurs laundry (and his socks!), tidied up Arthurs and his own room, cleaned Arthurs boots, sword and shield, made his armor shine, and had also cleaned out the stables – Merlin was close to just going to bed instead of going to Arthur’s chambers another time to report he was finished and going to bed. However, rules were rules and Merlin somehow felt Arthur wanted to talk to him again, and they hadn’t seen each other the whole day. So, there he was, knocking on Arthurs door and forcing a tired smile on his face. Arthur smiled back, seemingly even more tired than Merlin’s own, and suddenly it didn’t feel as forced anymore.

“Good evening, Sire. I am done with cleaning; do you have any more wishes?”

Arthur raised his eyebrows and grimaced. “You smell like horse shit.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “Oh, what a surprise in consideration of the fact that your royal horse shat on my feet while I was cleaning the stables.”

“Get a bath. You’re going to do night shifts today since you overslept last night.”

Merlin opened his mouth, the words already lied on his tongue, when Arthur added: “One word about me falling asleep next to you will give you 3 days in the stocks, I promise.”

Merlin decided to close his mouth again and made it for the door instead. However, Arthur held him back again.

“You take a bath here. It’s faster and I can start asking you questions while you bath.”

Merlin shook his head in disbelief. “Slowly, I get the impression you don’t want me to get off your side at all.”, he said.

Arthur said nothing but pointed to the bathtub. “Can you fill it with water? Like, with magic?”

Merlin looked at him. “I don’t think so. It has to come somewhere, I can’t make things exist, I can just make things move or change.”

“Well, then you’re going to get water right now.”

Merlin sighed and nodded. “Alright.”

When the bathtub was finally filled and warmed up with a spell (Merlin didn’t have to freeze if it was avoidable, right?), Merlin uncomfortably looked at Arthur and back to the tub. Arthur wasn’t going to-

“Come on Merlin, don’t be a princess.”, Arthur grinned but turned around with an ironic motion.

Merlin quickly got out of his clothes and into the huge tub. Before Merlin could even relax, Arthur sat by his side and started bombarding him with questions about magic, Merlin’s magic in specific, and all the times he’d used it. And, after going through all the facts, Arthur started going into the more difficult questions.

“Merlin, do you think magic is evil in itself?”

Merlin sighed and sunk deeper into the bathtub. Then he said slowly: “My opinion is the following: Magic is not more or less evil than any other skill a person can learn. It’s not eviler than a talent for sword fighting, or for potions, or anything that could possibly be used to do bad. I think, it’s the humans who are evil, they choose how to use their skills and talents. If a knight chooses to kill you with his sword, is the sword evil or the knight?”

Arthur seemed to be caught off-guard by this kind of answer. “Hm, I never saw it that way. Of course, it’d be the knight and not the sword… Seems logical to transfer that to magic as well. However, I always thought magic changes the way you think – that it infiltrates your mind and who you are.”

Merlin smiled sadly. “That’s definitely not true, but also not entirely wrong. Think of it like that: Magic means power. Some kind of power that you have that some, or many people, don’t have. It can corrupt your mind because you feel like you’re standing above other people. But that isn’t something that happens to everyone using magic, just as not everyone who’s extremely talented in using a sword feels the urge to kill or hurt someone with that.”

Arthur let out a deep breath and nodded. “I don’t feel the urge to kill someone with my sword.”

Merlin grinned and shrugged. “Maybe you’re just not as talented?”

Arthur thanked him by dunking Merlin’s head into the bathtub water and Merlin coughed, but both of them laughed.

“How comes you’re so sassy all the time? Who taught you to respect your king?”, Arthur asked while still grinning.

Merlin shrugged again. “I probably did myself.”

Arthur shook his head. “You’re unbelievable. And you did a bad job teaching yourself. Now get out of the tub already, your skin is already pruning up.”

Merlin sighed and nodded. “Right. Do you still have questions?”

He looked around and noticed he didn’t bring a towel. Stupid, he thought to himself. The next moment the desired piece of cloth fell on Merlin’s head and nearly into the water. He quickly caught it and Arthur laughed. Merlin let out a huff, stood up while covering himself with Arthurs royal towel and got out of the bathtub. Arthur watched him suspiciously when Merlin went to pick his clothes from the floor, and when he was on the point of putting it on, Arthur threw another piece of clothing at him.

“There’s no way you’re sleeping in these clothes in my bed again.”

Merlin just glared at him. “They’re washed last week.”

Arthur nodded. “That’s what I’m talking about. You wear them everywhere, in the stables, when falling into dirt, and when cuddling with old people like Gaius.”

“I’m not cuddling with Gaius??”

Arthur shrugged. “You’re going to wear my pants and shirt, that are made for sleeping in them, or you sit on the floor the whole night.”

Merlin gave in and shrugged as well while putting on the shirt and the short pants that completely disappeared under the shirt since it was too big for him. Now Arthur patted on the bed next to him. “Come here now.”

Merlin laughed. “I feel like a princess in her wedding night with you, Arthur. Are you sure I’m the right person for that?”

Merlin could swear Arthur blushed on that, but then he threw a pillow at him and replied: “The difference is, you’re going to wash everything that you touched tomorrow morning plus the pillow I just threw. A princess wouldn’t waste her precious time doing that stuff.” Merlin shrugged while sitting down next to Arthur.

“That’s going to be the only difference?” Slowly, he came to thinking Arthur really had plans that Merlin hadn’t thought of yet.

Arthur blushed deeply now and quickly replied: “You wish.”

Merlin decided not to think about that anymore.

“So why am I still here? You bombarded me with questions on the way back to Camelot and while I was bathing now so do you really still have something left?”

Arthur looked at him, and then suddenly his own hands were seemingly more interesting. “Can you please show me your magic again?”

Merlin took a deep breath. “You know that’s not a good idea, I could get caught, and then I’m practically dead.”

“No one will catch you, I promise. And I’m the only one giving death sentences.”, Arthur replied and Merlin sighed.

“Fine.”

He could practically feel Gaius glaring at him, but he ignored it. He let a ball of fire appear on his palm, formed it to a dragon who flew around Arthur and around the bed.

“Wow.”, Arthur whispered, his eyes fixated on the tiny dragon.

Merlin smiled and let it sit on Arthurs arm. He made sure not to actually make the magic fire touch Arthurs skin, but Arthur still flinched. However, he quickly collected himself and his gaze went to Merlin and they locked eyes for a moment. Merlin let the dragon burst into little pieces of glowing ashes and then shrugged.

“How long have you studied magic?”, Arthur asked quietly.

“I didn’t really… study. As a child, it was something like blabbering for me. I just did it naturally, not knowing it was forbidden or could get me into trouble. My magic is more instinctive, I would save stuff from falling down, hide stuff I didn’t want to let people see, something like that. It wasn’t until I met Gaius when I learned there was more to magic than that. Spells and potions, and all the stuff I needed to learn in order to protect you… and Camelot.”

Arthur shook his head. “I always thought I was protecting you.”

Merlin laughed. “You do, Arthur. Why do you think am I still alive? I could’ve been dead at least as often as you could’ve been but thanks to you I obviously am not.”

Arthur thought about that for a while, then he said: “So you’re protecting me and I protect you. That would mean we will only survive as a team?”

Merlin smiled and nodded. “That’s what I tried to tell you multiple times already.”

Arthur grinned. “Sorry, but I can’t believe my life depends on such a sassy manservant.”

Merlin shook his head. “You’re a prat. Did I already tell you that? Oh and, don’t think I can protect you from… swords, or girls, or whatever. My specialty is magical dangers, alright? So, you better keep practicing sword fighting or you’ll die anyway.”

Arthur raised his eyebrow. “You know that I’m basically the best knight in the kingdom?”

Merlin grinned. “Still a prat.”

Arthur turned around. “You’re dismissed.”, he said.

“Yeah, good night.”, Merlin replied and watched Arthurs back while sinking into sleep.

The next morning, Merlin woke up with the sunrise like he was used to, but this time he had to detangle himself from Arthurs legs and arms to get up. He wasn’t so sure who of them pulled the other one in but Arthur had him in a bone breaking hug so Merlin didn’t really come far. It was weird being so close to Arthur, when he was normally the only one of the knights who never, ever hugged Merlin but just created some weird tension between them whenever a normal reaction for friends was a hug. Like when they all made finished a mission alive. Or when Merlin came back from some kind of near-death experience. However, now Arthur had him trapped between his arms and didn’t seem to budge. “Arthur.”, Merlin whispered. “Sire.” Nothing. Not that Merlin was surprised about that. Arthur never woke up to quiet words. Or gentle poking. For a moment, Merlin contemplated just staying in bed until Arthur would wake up. It wasn’t uncomfortable after all. What would be uncomfortable though, was anyone, like really anyone coming into Arthurs room right now. Explaining why Merlin wore Arthurs clothes, sleeping in his bed between his arms – yeah, people would not believe any explanation.

So, Merlin poked Arthur harder and more determined, and raised his voice a bit. “Arthur, rise and shine! It’s morning.” Arthur just groaned and took Merlin’s hand that poked him. “Stop that.”, he murmured and Merlin felt his heart skipping a beat.

“Sire, you have to get up and off me.”, Merlin said a bit louder and Arthur blinked tiredly. “Get off you?”, he mumbled and sighed, not really awake yet. “Why?”, he asked and Merlin’s face heated. “Because I have to get to work.”, Merlin answered and his heart was pounding.

“Mhm.”, Arthur replied and nodded without opening his eyes again. “Get to work.”, he then repeated sleepily.

“Arthur, honestly, you need to wake up, get up, and stop cuddling with me!”, Merlin now tried a bit more frantic, his heart was beating so fast and he didn’t even know why.

Now Arthur was awake, opening his eyes and locked eyes with Merlin for a second. Then he nearly jumped out of bed and gave Merlin’s body a shock-freeze somehow. It was surprisingly cold in Arthurs room this morning, and all the body heat Arthur had given him was taken away in a split second, so Merlin couldn’t help but shiver.

“Uh, its freezing in here.”, Arthur announced at that moment, seemingly not wanting to pick up the cuddle topic again.

“Yeah.”, Merlin said, already standing up and finally changing into his own clothes, which were not only fitted better, but also warmer.

A few moments later, Arthur was already gone and Merlin started cleaning the sheets again like Arthur had told him yesterday night. While he was doing his jobs, he constantly thought about last night. Arthur had definitely started to act differently towards him since he found out about Merlin’s magic, but he didn’t know how that fit together. Merlin had expected Arthur to distance himself from Merlin, but instead he seemed to have come much closer, and Merlin didn’t understand the reasons. Of course, now their friendship was much more honest. However, Arthur now was definitely aware of the fact that Merlin had been lying at him since they got to know each other, and that must have felt like a huge betrayal. But judging on Arthurs behavior lately, he didn’t seem to be resentful in that case. They had always been good friends, but now their relationship suddenly went a bit past this, and Merlin wasn’t sure this was a good idea. The way his heart had been beating every time Arthur came closer told him he should probably watch it. Falling in love with Arthur wasn’t a good idea, in fact, it was a terrible one. Merlin was still not sure about Arthurs intentions. Maybe he really just wanted to learn about Merlin’s magic to be able to form his own opinion, but then again it wasn’t really necessary for him to sleep next to Arthur, and Arthur normally wasn’t the one overly worried about if Merlin got into trouble for anything. No, Merlin had the impression there was more behind it than simple curiousness. Later that day, when Merlin bumped into Gwaine while running some errands for Gaius, he took the opportunity to talk about it with him. He wasn’t sure Gwaine would understand such a thing, but he wanted to get a second opinion. Plus, Gwaine was one of the insiders of the mission and he didn’t have to skip anything.

“Gwaine, do you have a minute?”, he asked.

Gwaine nodded and lead Merlin into the knight’s rooms, where they were sure no one listened. Then Merlin started explaining everything to Gwaine, what happened between them in the last days and how Arthur had changed his behavior towards him.

“I thought he would just dump me as a friend or something, he was so angry at first. And I wouldn’t even have the right to defend against that, because he was right, I lied to him. But instead he’s just… I’m under the impression he doesn’t want to be alone, or something. And for some reason, he chooses me to be on his side. I mean- not that I don’t like it – I mean –“ he interrupted himself and looked at Gwaine who grinned.

“So, you like that Arthur lets you get close to him and he seems to like you near him. Where’s the problem now exactly?”

Merlin sighed. “There’s no real problem there, it’s just – I don’t get it.”

Gwaine shrugged. “Never look a gift horse in the mouth.”

“What if I just understand everything wrong and I fall in love with him and he really doesn’t –“

Gwaine laughed. “You already fell for him, you know that, right?”

Merlin blushed and shook his head.

“Maybe just talk with Arthur. Being honest has obviously brought you closer to each other. Why don’t you try being honest again? Just tell him you’re confused. Or we could just try to make him super drunk and – Oh, better idea, you enchant him to tell the truth.”

Merlin wasn’t convinced of the first option, and much less convinced of the two last ones, but they were interrupted by Lancelot and some of the other knights who came in after sparring. So, Merlin left and tried not to think about it anymore.

It was nearly two weeks later when Merlin finally found time and courage to ask Arthur about it. He hadn’t slept in his own bed more than 3 times in these two weeks, and Arthur still found excuses to keep him close whenever possible. This time, he tried to get Merlin to accompany him to that stupid tournament he had to attend. Well, actually Arthur didn’t really need to convince him, since it was basically Merlin’s job to accompany Arthur. However, Merlin wasn’t really for brutality without any reason, and in his opinion, these tournaments were nothing else than that, and Merlin therefore planned to not watch the tournament and go somewhere else instead in the meantime. Arthur, on the other side, wanted Merlin to watch him from the ranks. So, he sat down on Arthurs bed and looked him in the eyes.

“Arthur, I know there’s something else behind all that. First of all, I really want you to know I love – um, I really like being around you. But you’ve been acting differently for weeks and I really wonder why.”

Arthur sighed. “So, you did notice.”

Merlin simply nodded.

“I…” Arthur cut himself off and shook his head. “You know, the fact that you, you of all possible people, have magic, kind of hit me off-guard. It’s… I had a few sleepless nights when you were not sleeping right next to me, and I found that if I wouldn’t notice your magic, I definitely would not notice it coming from any person. I always thought you would notice if someone is a magic user, in some way. But I would’ve put a bet on my life you were not using magic, and when you told me how many times you’ve used it right in front of me, I really got-“

He cut himself off again, and swallowed. “I am worried there’s more people right in front of me which are magic users but aren’t as fond of me as you are. And of the kingdom. I know I have a lot of enemies.”

Merlin’s eyes widened. “You’re scared.”

Arthur shook his head and stood up abruptly. “Merlin, I am not scared, I am paranoid. For the first time in my life, I can’t sleep, for god’s sake. And it’s all your fault.”

Hell, that hurt. Merlin swallowed. He hadn’t noticed Arthur’s worries, but Arthur had concealed it so well. He had been just as arrogant, funny and proud as always. Now Merlin felt oblivious, and he suddenly understood how Arthur had completely missed all the times Merlin used magic in front of him. If you’re convinced of the fact your friend would just tell you the truth, or you’re simply convinced of a wrong fact, you don’t notice these tiny hints. Or sometimes even the biggest hints possible. “I am sorry.”, Merlin replied silently and reached out to Arthur, but the King didn’t let him.

“Merlin, honestly, I am just confused. I don’t know what to think. You saved me multiple times, but you also betrayed me for such a long time. I feel like you can help me, and I want to trust you, and I do, but I also somehow feel like I shouldn’t. And if you’re with me I don’t have to think about it, and my head stops spinning, and that’s why I don’t want to let you go.”

Merlin sighed and nodded. “I am sorry, Arthur. I didn’t mean to betray you, I was… I was scared it’d be my and your death sentence if I told you. And I know it was wrong to not trust you to understand but I also knew it wouldn’t be easy for you.”

Arthur nodded lightly and suddenly, Merlin saw tears shimmering in his eyes.

“Arthur, I-“, he started, but cut himself off. “All I ever did was solely for your safety. And I promise I will continue to do what is necessary. There are fewer evil warlocks that nearly killed you than you probably think right now… Most of them didn’t even get close to you because I was in their way.”

Arthur wiped away his tears with his hand and he obviously hoped Merlin wouldn’t notice, but Merlin did and he couldn’t stop himself from trying to comfort his best friend and king. He took a step towards him and pulled Arthur into a hug, letting his magic radiate from his skin as warmth. Arthur didn’t even stiffen, but wrapped his arms around Merlin and pulled him even closer.

They remained silent like that for a while, when Arthur suddenly started speaking again.

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”, Arthur said silently and Merlin chuckled.

“What do you mean?”

Arthur seemed nervous, but didn’t let go.

“I feel like we’re closer as ever and I don’t know how I managed that. I was so conflicted over everything I just went with what I needed.”, Arthur whispered and Merlin’s heart started to beat faster. He slowly pulled away and looked into Arthurs eyes.

“Following your heart and stomach instead of your brain can come in handy from time to time.”, Merlin said and smiled warmly, then wiped away some tears in Arthurs face. “I like you being naturally and not overthinking every move. Like you did with the hugging earlier.” Arthur huffed. “I did never overthink hugging!” He said, and Merlin laughed. “Oh yes you did. That time I came back from the mission and everyone thought I was dead, every knight hugged me and we just stood there, looking at each other and then you patted my shoulder.”

Arthur blushed and looked away. “It’s improper for a king to hug servants in front of all the people.”, he then said, and Merlin was nearly hurt.

“That’s what I meant. You’re overthinking so much. Nobody of the knights would care, and me, most definitely, neither.”

Arthur raised his eyebrows and grinned. “So, you’re saying you wanted me to hug you?”

Now it was Merlin who blushed, and Arthur laughed. “I simply didn’t like that weird tension because we both didn’t know what to do.”, he tried to save it, but Arthur just laughed again and shook his head.

“I didn’t know you were so touch-starved, magic boy.” He ruffled Merlin’s hair and then went past him and out of the door with the words: “Don’t forget the tournament next week!”

Merlin wasn’t exactly able to forget the tournament, because Arthur was talking about it constantly the following days. Not only about his excitement, but also of the fact that there were going to be a few Princesses from other kingdoms that wanted to marry him and that he definitely wasn’t going to even look at them.

Merlin smiled, but asked: “Why are you saying that? You don’t even know how they look.”

Arthur shook his head. “I’m not interested.”

“Why?”

Arthur gave him a warning glance. “Because… just because.”

Merlin shrugged, and said nothing anymore. The last days, Arthur was getting better and slept by himself more often, but this evening, Arthur’s paranoia was worse again, and since Arthur was honest with him now, Merlin didn’t ask questions but told Gaius he would not come to his room for the night. Gaius was already used to it at that point and didn’t ask any questions either. When Merlin and Arthur sat on Arthur’s bed and talked about the tournament, Merlin played around with his magic, something that always made Arthur marvel, and let him forget the worries. Merlin had quickly realized it wasn’t Arthurs own life his king was worried about, instead, he worried about his kingdom, his knights, and his people who he couldn’t protect anymore if something happened to him. Merlin couldn’t help being impressed by that, Arthur made a very young yet conscientious king. Not in the way Uther had wanted him to, but in his own way. Arthur would never give up even a tiny part of his kingdom, he would not let down the poorest person if he saw a way to save them. Arthur was committed to equality and justice in a way Uther had never been. And that was one of Arthurs features Merlin liked best. Arthur had a good heart. He always tried to find a way to do the right thing without letting someone down, neither his father, nor his kingdom, nor anyone he cared for. Arthur would never admit that he cared for anyone around him, but more or less he didn’t have to anyways because everyone knew.

“What are you brooding over?”, Arthur ripped Merlin out of his train of thoughts.

“About you being so easy to impress.”, Merlin lied with a straight face and Arthur frowned.

“I’m not easily imp-“

He cut himself off when Merlin’s eyes lit up one more time and a dragon made of fire flew through Arthurs room. It was the same dragon he had created when Arthur was new to magic, but at least 10 times as big. Arthur stared at the dragon and obviously completely forgot what he wanted to say. Merlin chuckled, and Arthur spun around.

“That’s not fair. That doesn’t count.”, Arthur argued, seemingly sulky.

Merlin just smiled and let the dragon shatter into tiny pieces of light.

The days went on, and Merlin kept thinking about Arthurs admit that his heart told him to be close to Merlin. Merlin tried not to overthink it, but he couldn’t help but have that sentence in his mind on repeat. He knew he probably had to talk about it to Arthur once again, but he couldn’t find the courage for it yet. Ever since this day, Arthur had never said anything similar again. Merlin’s nights in the King’s bed had greatly decreased - maybe because Arthur slept better by himself again - and although they still got along better than before the incident with Merlin’s magic, it kind of felt a bit more distant than before their talk. Merlin didn’t want to think about the reasons anymore, he just wanted a clear answer from Arthur. Something he wouldn’t get if he didn’t ask again. A fact that brought him back to his misery: He just didn’t find the courage. Merlin sighed and pushed the vicious circle of thoughts away to concentrate on cleaning Arthurs armor, when the King suddenly appeared behind him and made him jump.

“WHAT IN THE NAME OF-“, Merlin started, and Arthur laughed.

“You were so fascinated about your face in my helmet that you didn’t notice me coming in. So that’s not my fault, magic boy.”

Merlin looked around and shook his head. “Don’t call me like that if we’re not alone-“

Arthur followed his glance. “But we are alone?”, Arthur asked and frowned.

Merlin sighed. “But someone could come in anytime. Calling me that is like…” He took a deep breath, “…like kissing. Don’t do it in any place you could be caught.”

Arthur just gave him a definitely not convinced look and Merlin wanted to jump off a cliff for comparing Arthurs nicknames with kissing. However, Arthur didn’t comment it any further.

“Anyway,”, he said. “Help me prepare for the tournament. You know it starts soon”

Merlin nodded. “What do you need me for?”, he asked, while looking around in Arthurs tent.

Arthur said nothing for a while, then: “You need to wash my clothes.”

Merlin frowned. “I already did this morning, Sire.”

Arthur shook his head. “Did you also clean my armor?”

Merlin frowned and gestured towards the shiny armor he had just been working on. “Does that look like I forgot about it?”

Arthur grimaced and dropped his body onto some pillows on the floor. Merlin just watched him and crossed his arms.

“Sire, what do you need me for?”

Arthur sighed and patted the pillows next to him. “Come on, useless toad of a magic manservant. Just sit with me for a moment, can you?”

Merlin did as he was told and looked Arthur in his eyes. He was about to ask again, but Arthur cut him off by starting to talk himself.

“Do you think the tournament will go well?”

Merlin was surprised by the question. Normally, Arthur wasn’t the one thinking too much about his own wellbeing.

“I have your back.”, Merlin replied slowly, and Arthur nodded.

“I will have to flirt with these girls.”, he then said, and Merlin smiled.

“You know Gwaine and basically every knight will be jealous, and you complain about that?”

Arthur huffed. “I’m not interested in marrying a- one of these girls.”

Merlin sighed. “I don’t get it, Sire. Half a year ago, you were so convinced you wanted to marry Gwen-”

Arthur spun around. “Exactly. And what did it give me? A broken heart, betrayal, and a lot of stress.”, Arthur spat out, and Merlin winced.

“And now you want to be alone for the rest of your life?” Merlin asked.

Arthur shrugged. “Then you let her win.”

The king sighed and shook his head. “I- I wish I could find someone who doesn’t keep any secrets from me.”

Merlin’s heart went faster again. “I don’t think you will find someone who doesn’t have any secrets. But I think you can find people who are loyal to you. You actually have quite a few very loyal people around you.”

Arthur huffed again and looked him in his eyes. “Are you trying to tell me I should just marry Gwaine or Percival?”

Merlin laughed, but the sting in his chest was painful. He didn’t even think of me, his heart complained.

“No, of course not.”

Arthur smiled sadly. “Can you promise me to never betray me anymore?”, Arthur asked and Merlin’s heart skipped a beat.

“Yes, Sire.”, he said, slowly, and nodded.

“Thank you.”, Arthur said and they were silent for a moment until Merlin opened his mouth again.

“You just needed me to talk?”

Arthur sighed. “I think it’s a good idea to talk with your servant about the incoming events.”

Merlin shook his head and started to help Arthur into his armor. After he was done, Arthur said: “I mostly call you to me because I want to check if you are actually working. Or if you’re in the tavern again.”

Merlin couldn’t help but laugh. This was ridiculous. “Why on earth can’t you just admit you like having me with you?”

Arthur shrugged, but smiled slightly. “Because I am the King, and you’re not worth my affection.”

Merlin grinned to himself and then threw Arthurs shiny helmet towards him. “Come on now, you’re going to be late for your stupid tournament.”

Arthur grinned and caught the helmet with ease.

“Are you going to kiss me good luck?”, he asked, and Merlin’s eyes widened for a moment. Then Arthur laughed and turned around. “Just a joke, manservant.”, he said, and with that, he got out of the tent and left Merlin to his thoughts.

Sadly, the tournament didn’t let Merlin think all this out. It didn’t care for Merlin being utterly confused about both his own feelings and Arthur’s. No, instead, as soon as Merlin left the tent, he remembered the last time there was a tournament in Camelot and he instantly got a bad feeling in his stomach. He sped up to reach the ranks. Instead of disappearing like he had originally planned, his protectivity kicked in and he kept his eyes open for suspicious people or movements. But nothing. After the tournament was over and everyone ate and talked (at least the important people in Camelot), Merlin stood behind Arthur next to the other servants. He was still looking around and felt uncomfortable, but it didn’t seem like something was up. Arthur talked a lot and seemed well, so Merlin tried to relax. It didn’t work though. He just wanted this night to end and, possibly, talk with Arthur before sleep. Sadly, it was another 4 hours until Arthur finally called it a day, and at this point Arthur was already completely drunk and Merlin had to help him to his chambers.

Arthur instantly fell on his bed and started snoring, so Merlin knelt down to remove his Kings boots and then dragged him onto the bed completely. When he was about to retreat, Arthur suddenly opened his eyes, pulled Merlin down and held him.

“Pwease stay Merlinn.”, he mumbled and Merlin smiled.

“I don’t want you to vomit on me.”, Merlin whispered and tried to get up.

He really needed to get to his own bed this time, Arthur would have a massive headache tomorrow and Merlin didn’t want to be in his ways then.

“Then pwease make me sober with ur magic…”, Arthur mumbled and tightened his grip.

Merlin rolled his eyes. “Sire, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Arthur gave him a tired look. “Pleaaaasee…”, he begged, and that was the moment Merlin noticed Arthur was actually using “please”.

“I didn’t know your royal brain was even familiar with the word “please”. Merlin chuckled. “Look at me, you drunk ass.”, he demanded and Arthur instantly did as he was told, another novelty much to Merlin’s astonishment.

The young warlock smiled and his eyes lit up while he cast a spell to wipe the alcohol from Arthurs mind and body.

“Your eyes are so beautiful…”, Arthur murmured before slowly clearing up.

Merlin grinned. “I’ll remember that. It’s already the second time you told me this.”

Arthur sighed. “Did I say anything stupid apart from that?”, he asked, already not slurring anymore.

Merlin raised his eyebrows. “Nothing I can think of. But you wanted me to sleep at your place.”

Arthur blinked. “Right, so why are you still sitting around here with your shoes on? Come here, I am really tired.”

Merlin was about to say something, but then he decided it wasn’t that important so he quickly got rid of his shoes and changed into one of Arthurs nightwear which the king always insisted on wearing when he slept in his bed. When he crawled into the bed, Arthur was already asleep and Merlin mentally shook his head. Arthur was definitely talented in avoiding serious conversations.

When Merlin woke up the next day, Arthur smelled of alcohol, something Merlin hadn’t really noticed at night because he had been so tired himself. However now, that smell really disturbed him. He thought about getting up, but the sun hadn’t risen yet and it was too comfortable in Arthurs bed to get up already. He moved a few inches away from his friend, detangling himself from Arthurs arms that somehow always ended up around his body. Unlike usually, that woke Arthur up instantly. He muffled a few complains and blinked, then he caught Merlins gaze and held it for a while. They didn’t talk. When Merlin broke their eye contact, Arthur cleared his throat.

“It’s too early, why are you awake?”

Merlin grinned, thankful for the chance to hide his embarrassment. “You smell like a tavern.”

Arthur seemed offended for a moment, and shot back. “Oh well, you have to know, right?”

Merlin snorted. “Gaius kept telling you I was in the tavern while I was defending you from evil warlocks, spells, got magical herbs or saved magical creatures.”

Arthur blinked again. “For real?” Merlin laughed. “Of course, do I look like a drunkard, or what?”

The king sighed but didn’t say anything. “Now let’s sleep some more.”

“You still smell.” Merlin remarked, and Arthur opened his mouth but then closed it, like a fish.

“You’re unbelievable, Merlin.”

Merlin grinned. “Thank you Sire, I work on it every day.”

Arthur seemed to think about something very hard, Merlin could nearly hear his brain working.

“What are you brooding over?” Merlin asked, and Arthur gave him an annoyed look.

“About whether I should kick you out or really get up now because your pampered nose can’t take the smell of a man. Or maybe I should just -”

He didn’t finish the sentence because Merlin started laughing. “The smell of a MAN, yes?”

Arthur tried to hold back his grin but he couldn’t. “I don’t know where you’re taking all the sass from, magic boy. You’re basically risking your life by offending the king like that, are you aware of that?”

Merlin raised his eyebrows. “You wouldn’t harm me, you like me too much.” Arthur blushed and Merlin caught himself wondering why Arthur didn’t simply kiss him already.

Suddenly, Arthur moved over him with a swift motion and pinned him down. Their faces suddenly were only a few inches apart and Merlin’s heart started racing again.

“Merlin- I really don’t know what I’m doing –“ Arthur started whispering and Merlin rolled his eyes and cut him off by pulling Arthur further down until their lips met.

For a moment, Merlin thought Arthur would pull away, but then he kissed back and Merlin got calmer. He relaxed his hands in Arthurs neck that had pulled Arthur down, but Arthur, much to Merlin’s delight, still didn’t pull away. Instead, he intensified their kiss, and Merlin’s hands started ruffling Arthurs hair. Arthurs lips were rough and tasted of alcohol, but Merlin didn’t exactly care at this point anymore. His heart ached from happiness, and he couldn’t think straight.

When Arthur slowly retreated, Merlin nearly pulled him back down, but they both were breathing fast and definitely had to get some oxygen. Their eyes locked, and they both said nothing for a few moments. Merlin noticed Arthurs swollen lips, his chaotic hair and his completely red face, and nearly apologized. Then again, he probably didn’t look different. Arthur slowly sat up and Merlin followed. He suddenly noticed the cold in Arthurs bedroom and couldn’t help but shiver. Arthur turned around and looked at him, but still didn’t say anything. Instead, he took the sheets that had somehow managed to land on the floor and put it around Merlin’s shoulders. Merlin stopped shivering and let out a shaky breath.

“I-“, Arthur started, but interrupted himself and started again. “I don’t know what to say.”

Merlin nodded and smiled. “That was probably the longest time I ever saw you remain silent. I might do that more often just to shut you up.”

Arthur grinned and the uncomfortable silence was broken. “You’re going to regret that.”, he said, and pulled away the sheets from Merlin’s shoulders. “I want a bath, get me some water, magic boy.”, he demanded and Merlin grinned and quickly got into his own clothes.

“To your service, royal prat.”


End file.
